6 comments on “Give Me A Freakin’ Break!

  1. I agree with you completly. I’m having an issue now with a group I’m in on Facebook now (an Army group) that apparently thinks it is alright to throw around the “Hillary is a secret homosexual” homophobic rant. I took offense and identified myself as a gay man who took offense to this “thread” and now all hell has broke loose. I’ll post about it in my next blog. You bring up a good issue here.

  2. While I agree the story received unnecessary attention it is a bit like racism and was inappropriate. Think about if she had written two black guys or two jews or two fat guys or two skinny guys, even if they were. I’m sure she didn’t mean anything by it and I think the guys pointing it out to the manager was good of them.

    • Hey Sean – thanks for reading & commenting. I appreciate your thoughts. I think we’re mostly on the same page.

      As I wrote in the post, I agree it was inappropriate for the server to have used that descriptor. I would have complained to management about it too, even though, in my case, it would have been an accurate description. It’s still inappropriate. And you are right, it would be every bit as inappropriate had she described her customers using racial, ethnic or body-type descriptors. I am in no way defending using such descriptions as a business practice. I’m just saying it is neither “news” nor a civil rights issue.

      There was no disparate treatment. It should not be used as a descriptor in the system but I don’t think it is racist to notice people are black, jewish, fat, gay, blue-eyed, etc. Recognizing the difference among people is what respect for diversity is about. It only become racism when that observation of difference results has a negative effect; a reduction in service quality, disrespectful treatment, etc. There doesn’t appear to have been any of that here.

      The customers should have complained to the manager. Were he/she is doing their job properly, the manager would have apologized profusely and comped their meal. Then the manager should have reprimanded the server, explained the consequences and coached her on better ways to identify customers in their system. And that should have been the end of it.

      But I am concerned about an LGBT organization getting involved in this “issue”. No one was discriminated against in any way because of the perception of being gay. There was no unequal treatment, there was no hate-speech, nor derogatory associations made about any people who may/may not be gay. The interests of the gay community were not jeopardized by this business’ behavior in any way. I think the real damage arises when an LGBT organization steps in as an advocate for a straight man’s right to be offended at the suggestion that he might be gay. Doesn’t this perpetuate the idea that there is a stigma associated with homosexuality? For a gay community organization that is a step in the wrong direction.

  3. I agree that while the waitress was wrong, Huffpost turned it into a debacle. Your analysis of this verbalized exactly how I felt about it.

    Cool post.
    Peace ❤
    Jay

  4. Whatever happened to identifying the patrons by table number? If sitting at the bar, maybe by seat numbers. Server should not have used any descriptions to identify her customers and the patrons were right to complain to management, but it should have stopped there. It is not worth all the hubbub, it did not keep her from providing good service, and there are worse things she could have done. Scenes from the film Waiting float through my mind. You are right, the LGBT community should focus on more important issues than poor waitress training and overly sensitive males.

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