I’ve been AWOL from the blogosphere for a couple of weeks. It’s happened before and I am sure it will happen again. It would be easy to claim the muse had fled and I was not inspired to be creative. That would not be true, however. I don’t think my blogging is particularly creative. Some blogs are wonderfully so, They include original material and/or present their content in innovative ways. Harper’s Valley is not among these. That is not disingenuous. It’s a fact. And I don’t feel bad about it. I don’t write fiction or poetry and I am not a wiz with the technology. Inspiration isn’t really required. There is always something on my mind. It’s not that difficult to write about it. All that is really required is hubris.
Recently I found myself in kind of an unhappy place. I allowed my feelings to be hurt by a few random, unrelated events; none of them from the blog. I would not say I am too sensitive but I admit that I internalize negative feedback, sometimes to a disproportionate degree. Worse still, at least for my own well-being, is I tend to connect unrelated bumps or slights in ways that make them feel cumulative. The thought bubble always reads; “See… more evidence of my (insert character flaw here)!” Of course, as I read that it kind of sounds like a pretty good definition of “too sensitive”. Who knows? Whatever it is, when I look at it objectively, it seems pretty childish. Awareness notwithstanding, when it happens my first reaction is to stop blogging and stop writing on Facebook.
I was in high school when I first read about Maslow’s Hierarchy. My understanding of it is pretty conceptual; that is to say, I don’t know much about it. In simplest terms, a person is only able to engage in activities related to their needs in the higher levels of the pyramid when they feel secure in the elements of the levels below.
I think, for me, Facebook, blogging and similar activities exist on the border between “Self-actualization” and “Esteem”. Publishing comes from a spontaneous impulse and, to a degree, involves a bit of problem solving to present my thoughts in a way that is clear and visually interesting. In any event, when I allow myself to become insecure about the features in the ‘Esteem’ group, I drop to that level and ‘tend to bidness’ and cobwebs start to grow on the keyboard.
Anyway, I’m back.