Harper was among the top fund-raisers in the recent AIDS Walk- Phoenix. As such, she won a nice gift basket. The basket included a variety of pet-related items; toys, treats, shampoo, flea & tick treatments, etc. The gift basket was a nice recognition but included a few items that are, well… noteworthy.
They gave us some flea & tick treatment for cats. At first, that seemed strange. I’m no statistician but it seems to me that the likelihood of the any of the winning dogs in AIDS Walk being a cat was pretty low. On reflection, however, I realize many pet-lovers’ homes include both dogs and cats. It’s like sharing the Halloween candy with a sibling…by giving them the things you don’t like.
I’d written previously about “Girlfriend”, the toy that makes noise when shaken or bitten. (Don’t we all?!). So far, Harper has shown little interest in this toy. I find it a little frightening when I see it leering at me from the toy basket. Perhaps it’s the Halloween spirit but I think she looks like someone “Chuckie” might have hooked up with from an online dating site… and probably not ‘Christian Mingle’. Maybe we can make a few bucks if “Girlfriend” gets cast in the role of the ‘Slutty Mistress’ in the next “Bride of Chuckie” sequel but I’m not holding my breath.
I’m giving her a couple more weeks. If Harper has still not shown any interest, “Girlfriend” is off to some needy pet-owning family in Amityville. That is, if she doesn’t kill us all in our sleep first.
Without a doubt, the strangest item in the prize basket was a sample-size of a new dog treat. I have removed the label to protect myself from possible product defamation charges. At first glance, the concept seems inspired. Take a bottle that could otherwise contain roll-on deodorant, fill it with some tasty liquid and have hours of fun holding the bottle upside down while your dog licks the roller ball. In practice, however, I find this treat lacking. There are issues.
- Brown, (they claim) chicken-flavored, liquid in a deodorant bottle doesn’t actually look as appetizing as it sounds.
- Harper has no interest in licking this thing.
- Unable to shake the mental image that, until recently, this was a Ban bottle rolling around in someone’s hairy armpit, I am less than enthusiastic about chasing her down, prying open her jaws, and rolling it around on her tongue to show her it isn’t really as disgusting as we both know it is.
We gave this innovative idea proper consideration. By that I mean I opened it and looked horrified and Harper sniffed it before diving under the bed. We’ll pass on this one.