Usually World Market is my purveyor of choice for stocking-stuffers but this year I am all about the dollar store.
Disclaimer Notice: I am using the term ‘dollar store’ here generically and not referring to any particular merchant or retail chain.
The merchandise at most dollar stores ranges from basic necessities, office supplies, housewares, cleaning producted, glamour and beauty aids, and seasonal items. Some of the seasonal items might be uncharitably described as “Cheap Christmas Trash” by those without the proper holiday spirit. One man’s CTC is another man’s tchotchke/kitsch. Most of what they sell are things one uses everyday. Best of all, around every corner, are things I’ll call; things-I-didn’t-know-I-wanted-until-I-saw-them-but-now-must-have-and-I-can-because-they-only-cost-a-dollar”. Shopping there is like trick-or-treating.
I am absolutely fascinated by one item which I did not buy…I swear!…; home pregnancy tests.
Being one of nature’s bachelors, I spend little time thinking about pregnancy. Aside from a couple of scares in high school and college, it is not a topic with which I’ve had to concern myself. Finding home pregnancy tests prominently displayed in the dollar store, however, causes my imagination to run riot.
- Are there people who, wondering whether the stork is en route with a little bundle of joy, cry out; “I need to get to dollar store!”?
- There is no judgment implied in this question, lest Dan Savage fans accuse me of “slut-shaming”, but are their people for whom these are a high-volume consumable?
- Communities of faith that empower their members to express their God-given sexuality with abandon but who condemn artificial birth control?
- Large families with many winsome daughters sharing their favors hither & yon?
- Do sororities shop at the dollar store?
Inquiring minds want to know.
I have never seen home pregnancy tests as a featured item in any of the local dollar stores’ weekly fliers, though I may have missed them. Neither do I recall them highlighting their other feminine products. Perhaps it is just another relic of our Puritan heritage. For the record, they carry a wide variety of feminine hygiene products to assist with the field-of-flowers, springtime breezy, minty freshness of whatever goes on down there.
I didn’t even know “ovulation predictors” were ‘a thing’, much less that they could be had for a buck at the local dollar store. They are “Over 99% Accurate” so it’s probably good to stock up.
“They make the perfect gift!”
Harper's Valley 
Well if you had ever known women who were having “fertility issues” & wanted to achieve pregnancy, you’d know that this crowd goes through predictors and HPTs like a bowl of potato chips……can’t have just one! Beats paying $10 a pop at the local drug store……
See…now that makes sense.
And for them it is probably good to have the two items next to each other on the shelf
They do make the perfect gift, according to the media women have a 50% chance of becoming pregnant during the Holidays. I bet the Virgin Mary would have liked to have known that, no wait she was 12 years old and God is ageless and sent a bird to talk to her.
Pretty sure BVM didn’t get pregnant during the holidays but your point is well taken.
Str8 guys I know say that bird thing almost always get them play.
All I can say about the dollar stores is that I was able to fulfill my Gifts for Larry and Gabe needs in one fell swoop, rather than making another trip to Target, too!
As to pregnancy tests, never had that issue. Whew! There are advantages to being gay! I have to wonder, do they also offer $1 condoms, or does that cut down on pregnancy test sales?!?!
Peace ❤
Jay
Didn’t see condoms but may have been there. If they sell them I guarantee it is not from a public policy perspective. 🙂
Wait a minute here. Back up…”aside from a couple of scares in high school and college”?…..EGADS MAN…. tell me you didn’t take “the plunge” while searching for your sexual identity? 😦
Wow. Jaw dropping. Absolutely draw dropping. So how was it? That’s one experience that’s not on MY bucket list. 😉
Ha! I am not sure I am flattered by the idea that it is “absolutely jaw dropping”. I guess it was a phase.
Of course you did not buy a test (or three). It will come as a complete surprise when Harper’s Other Dad finds one (or three) in his stocking this year — courtesy of Harper, no doubt, who is always going on about having a brother or sister.
spouse and I had a laugh over this post. 🙂
funny, but I have NEVER purchased an HPT; the pill did its job properly! after getting neutered, I REALLY had no need for this item! 😉
Thanks. I was trying for a laugh.
No need to place any in MY stocking. I have all I could ever use (i.e., none).
I vaguely remember a comedy routine about the inappropriateness of buying pregnancy tests at a dollar store. Had no idea you could these, as well.
LOL…..this is one of those items, unless extremely broke or cheap, a female would spend the money for top of the line, at least 8 dollars. I guess the market really is competitive on all levels.
David, I hope you are feeling better. If I was nearby I’d drop by and give you some tea and sympathy for Christmas. Tell Harper to keep your spirits up for Christmas! 8-))
Thanks!
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