Usually World Market is my purveyor of choice for stocking-stuffers but this year I am all about the dollar store.
Disclaimer Notice: I am using the term ‘dollar store’ here generically and not referring to any particular merchant or retail chain.
The merchandise at most dollar stores ranges from basic necessities, office supplies, housewares, cleaning producted, glamour and beauty aids, and seasonal items. Some of the seasonal items might be uncharitably described as “Cheap Christmas Trash” by those without the proper holiday spirit. One man’s CTC is another man’s tchotchke/kitsch. Most of what they sell are things one uses everyday. Best of all, around every corner, are things I’ll call; things-I-didn’t-know-I-wanted-until-I-saw-them-but-now-must-have-and-I-can-because-they-only-cost-a-dollar”. Shopping there is like trick-or-treating.
I am absolutely fascinated by one item which I did not buy…I swear!…; home pregnancy tests.
Being one of nature’s bachelors, I spend little time thinking about pregnancy. Aside from a couple of scares in high school and college, it is not a topic with which I’ve had to concern myself. Finding home pregnancy tests prominently displayed in the dollar store, however, causes my imagination to run riot.
- Are there people who, wondering whether the stork is en route with a little bundle of joy, cry out; “I need to get to dollar store!”?
- There is no judgment implied in this question, lest Dan Savage fans accuse me of “slut-shaming”, but are their people for whom these are a high-volume consumable?
- Communities of faith that empower their members to express their God-given sexuality with abandon but who condemn artificial birth control?
- Large families with many winsome daughters sharing their favors hither & yon?
- Do sororities shop at the dollar store?
Inquiring minds want to know.
I have never seen home pregnancy tests as a featured item in any of the local dollar stores’ weekly fliers, though I may have missed them. Neither do I recall them highlighting their other feminine products. Perhaps it is just another relic of our Puritan heritage. For the record, they carry a wide variety of feminine hygiene products to assist with the field-of-flowers, springtime breezy, minty freshness of whatever goes on down there.
I didn’t even know “ovulation predictors” were ‘a thing’, much less that they could be had for a buck at the local dollar store. They are “Over 99% Accurate” so it’s probably good to stock up.
“They make the perfect gift!”