I Can’t Even Muster a Good Rant

For context…

The first amendment to the Constitution of the United States reads:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

For additional context…

Public officials in the State of Arizona are required to take the following oath of office:

I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support the Constitution of the United States and the Constitution and laws of the State of Arizona; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same, and defend them against all enemies, foreign and domestic, and that I will faithfully and impartially discharge the duties of the office of __(name of office) ___according to the best of my ability, so help me God (or so I do affirm).

Republican Senator Sylvia Allen

With an educated grasp of these two facts, and, presumably, with no reluctance to swear an oath before God, Arizona State Senator Sylvia Allen believes there should be a law requiring mandatory church attendance for all Americans. Her comments were made during hearings regarding citizens’ rights to carry concealed weapons in public spaces.

At first look this appears to be a bit of a non sequitur, aside, of course, from the general fondness Tea-vangelicals have for morphing religion and firearms (along with racism and xenophobia) into their own particular brand of patriotism. Senator Allen explains, people should be allowed to carry concealed weapons into public buildings because “there’s a moral erosion of the soul of America” and people now feel the need to arm themselves, even in public spaces.

“It’s the soul that is corrupt – how we get back to a moral rebirth I don’t know, since we are slowly eroding religion at every opportunity that we have, Probably we should be debating a bill requiring every American to attend a church of their choice on Sunday to see if we can get back to having a moral rebirth.”

The Senator gives a nod to at least the appearance of having respect for diversity by allowing that people be allowed to attend “a church of their choice on Sunday”. I’m forced to wonder whether anyone is actually so stupid as to think calling it “a church” and requiring attendance “on Sunday” is anything other than a mandate requiring all Americans worship as Christians. Apparently diversity, to Senator Allen’s thinking, means Americans need not be actually be Christians as long as they obey the law and attend Christian services. I guess that’s not technically anti-Semitism, in the same way that a Tea Party activist wearing a t-shirt that reads “Put the white back in the White House” isn’t technically racism. Presumably, one could choose whether to sit in with the Catholics or the Protestants. That’s empowering.

After her comments drew media attention Senator Allen spoke on the Senate floor saying she didn’t understand why her comments would be viewed as controversial, expressing surprise that the remarks were offensive to some, also telling those assembled she didn’t understand why making church attendance mandatory would even be newsworthy.

She does not understand how forcing people in other communities of faith (to say nothing of those whose lives do not include organized religion) to change their religious practices under penalty of law might be offensive?

She cannot understand how eliminating even the pretense of a separation of Church and State in direct violation of the U.S. Constitution would even be newsworthy?

I’m speechless.

Wild About Harry’s

Last Christmas I was hunting for a gift idea for Harper’s Other Dad and I decided to try Harry’s (harrys.com). Harry’s is an online retailer of men’s shaving products.

HOD had been a Gillette Atra user as long as I’ve known him. He seemed happy enough with it. I was less so. Buying replacement blades was kind of pain. “Atra” does not have the brand prominence it once had so I had to hunt for replacement blades at our nearby pharmacy. Blades are kept in a locked cabinets there so I always had to track down an employee to unlock the case before I could buy the blades. And then they were $25 for 8 blades. I knew of Harry’s because they advertise on a couple of podcasts I listen to regularly as well as online in the side panels of Facebook and other social media. I’d never taken the time to check them out but the gift season seemed like a good time to do so.

Shopping on their website is easy. They sell very few products, basically just razors, replacement blades, shave gel/cream, and moisturizer, so navigation is easy. They only offer one razor (handle) and only in a few colors. There are not too many choices to make. Once the order is submitted, Harry’s ships the product to your home. Shipping is free.

The best part, however, is the “shaving plan”. You tell Harry’s how many times per week you shave and they calculate the frequency with which you’ll need replacement blades and they send them to you automatically. I love that! Not only is it easy but you get a little surprise in your mailbox from time to time. It’s like getting a present. (O.K., you still have to pay for them so it isn’t quite like a present but it’s still a pleasant experience.)

The blades cost about half what we were paying for Atra blades at Walgreen’s. Harry’s products seem well-made. They’re manufactured at their own factory in Germany using Swedish steel. If you check out their website you can take a virtual tour of the factory.

Harper’s Other Dad liked them so I ordered a razor for myself. We split the replacement blades when they arrive. It seems to be a good product and a good value. The only way it could be more convenient would be if they sent someone to the house to shave you, and that would be a little creepy.

In hindsight, maybe Harry’s is what prompted me to lose my mustache after decades of having one…maybe not.

Valuable Lessons – #FirstWorldProblems

The arrival of spring means I must become more proactive about maintaining the pool. In the winter months when the water is cold, the water temperature drops into the 40’s F, I  pretty much ignore it completely adopt the off-season maintenance schedule. As winter turns to spring I need to start paying attention to water chemistry, filter schedules, and the like. A few weeks ago I got into the pool to do some cleaning and came out with a good dose of hypothermia for my trouble.

Valuable Lesson #1: When the water temp is in the 50’s F one should not stay in the pool too long.

As I have learned since becoming a pool owner, a pool does not have one filter but several. One is for the skimmer which is very easy to empty and clean. One barely needs get wet hands. One is the leaf catcher attached to the vacuum. Emptying the leaf catcher is a little more active task and it accomplished most easily while in the pool. (See Valuable Lesson #1.) The third filter is attached to the pump and is the last checkpoint for debris before the water circulates through a fourth (sand) filter and is pumped back into the pool. The third filter can be emptied and cleaned without turning blue but, because it is pressurized, taking it apart for maintenance is (only) slightly more onerous. One must take the top off the pressurized canister to retrieve the basket inside. With the basket out, one cleans out any flotsam & jetsam that has made it past the basket and might be trying to infiltrate the sand filter tank. Once completed, one reassembles the canister, re-primes the pump and bleeds the captured air from the system. The top of the pressurized canister is held on by a long bolt which one tightens until the seal is air tight. This leads me to …

Evil Bolt

Valuable Lesson #2: Long bolts should not find their way into the garbage disposal.

For some reason known only to the sprites of spring, when I brought the basket into the kitchen to clean it I brought the bolt in as well, rather than leaving it on the ground near the pump where it belongs at such moments. Turning on the garbage disposal in an effort to clean the pool refuse out of the sink caused this bolt to lodge tightly into the teeth of the disposal.

It was relatively easy to retrieve the bolt…once I crawled under the sink and removed the garbage disposal completely. Luckily I had installed it so I had a rough idea how to go about that. Once detached, it was easy enough to extract the bolt using only the wits the good Lord gave me, a pair of pliers, a small hammer, two screw drivers and every curse word I’ve learned in this life. After a few minutes I was ready to reinstall the garbage disposal.

Valuable Lesson #3: When installing a garbage disposal it is important not to disturb the plumbing connection between the two sinks.

This was easily repaired as well requiring only a wrench, Teflon tape, a 30 minute trip to Home Depot for $3 worth of replacement parts and 24 hours spent draining and refilling the reverse osmosis system.

In the end as was well again. The garbage disposal is working properly. The kitchen sinks do not appear to be leaking. The bolt was not even damaged so I was able to put the pool filter back together in short order.

Of course the water temp is still only in the mid-60’s. See Valuable Lesson #1.

Ballet Arizona: “Today’s Masters”

As I’ve written before, my knowledge of ballet is limited. I’ve never studied dance nor taken any kind of ballet appreciation course. I’d never even attended a ballet before about 10 years ago. As such, my opinion about the quality of a production or a performance is uninformed. I can usually tell if something goes terribly awry. The audience response usually lets me know if something is particularly good. What lies between the two extremes eludes me. A “C-” performance looks pretty much the same as “B+” to my untrained eye. That said, I have learned a few things about my taste as an audience member. I may not have the words to articulate what I like but, like pornography, “I know it when I see it”.

I prefer pieces that are more abstract and less tied to a narrative plot. Ballets based on fairy tales or other stories spend a lot of time with the exposition movement needed to set the scene and tell the story in a medium without words. That is not to say I prefer modern dance to classical ballet movement, only that I enjoy the beauty, grace, and expressiveness of the movement when it is not attempting to communicate a linear plot. For that reason, one of the productions I await most eagerly each season is “Modern Masters”. This year’s production was all I’d hoped for. To my eye it was outstanding.

The first of the evening’s three pieces was choreographed by Alexi Ratmansky (1968-  ) to Saint-Saens’ Le Carnaval des Animaux (1886). It was bright and energetic and very funny. Harper’s Other Dad particularly liked the Fossils. I most enjoyed the Roosters & Hens which portrayed the gender politics with a playful, free-spirited, seemingly adolescent style. I also liked the section Saint-Saens called “Personnages à longues oreilles” (Personages with Long Ears). That has less to do with the dancing, however. I just smile at the term ‘Personages with Long Ears’.

Carnival of Animaux Kangaroos

The second piece, and my favorite, was choreographed by Ballet Arizona’s Artistic Director Ib Andersen (1954-  ) to Respighi’s Pines of Rome (1924). The Symphony performed Respighi’s symphonic poem recently so I was somewhat familiar with the music. The dance was athletic, modern, and very expressive.

The last piece was the most intriguing. Choreographed by Brazilian Nayon Iovino (dob unknown but young!) and set to Pink Floyd’s Echoes (1970), the piece was visually haunting. I was not familiar with this particular music, my Pink Floyd experience being, pretty much, limited to 1973’s Dark Side of the Moon, but I knew immediately it was Pink Floyd. The dancing was ethereal and every bit as impressive as the previous piece but I liked it slightly less because I found it set decoration unsettling. The dance opens with a large round piece of fabric at the center of the stage, picture a very large parachute. Between the abstract coloring, the lighting effects, and the dancers lying beneath it, the visual impression in very textural. The fabric is slowing lifted off the dancers until it hangs at the back of the stage, maintaining its circular shape. The movement of the dancers makes it move subtly and the movement is exaggerated by the lighting. At one point during the piece the center of the fabric is drawn back and up changing the shape from flat circular to something that was both billowy and suggestive of something anatomical. HOD and I spent some time after the performance discussing the possibilities. Objectively it was very dramatic but I found it disturbing and distracting.

It’s a Dog’s Life

I have no illusions about Harper’s comprehension but, like most dogs, she understands a few words and basic commands. She recognizes her name. She knows ‘sit’, ‘treat’, ‘leash’ and ‘walk’. If I say “go to pee place” she heads out to a particular area in the back yard. When I say “go in house” she’ll go into her cage. (Actually, as I’m describing it, I realize, if I substitute ‘baños” for ‘pee place’, her English is about as good as my Spanish.) There is another word she knows, though she does not like it nearly as much as ‘treat’ or ‘walk’… “bath”.

This afternoon she was lounging on the bed, looking out the window and ruminating on the meaning of existence when I told her Other Dad I needed to give her a bath. She responded by moving from the bed into her cage. She always goes there when she’s anxious.

Gone to her ‘safe place’.

I turned the water on in the tub, got the shampoo and towels, and called her into the bathroom. She came but she was not happy about it. Subtlety is not her strongest suit.

“Do I have to?”

Harper is not resistant to having a bath but she does not like getting wet so she puts on her best “I’m just a Christian martyr” face.

“Are we done yet?”

If she’d ever encountered the expression, “close your eyes and think of England”, I imagine it would be going through her mind about now.

“Oh the pain….the pain”

She likes the ‘drying off’ part. This is when the tail starts to wag again.

She doesn’t hold a grudge. She knows treats follow baths.

Unfortunately, she’s done but I am not.